Today, I went to pick up my new car from my dad and his fiance and it was great! It’s a beautiful car. Perfect in my opinion, but that is probably because of my last silly little monster, but it was great! And it drove nice, which was great because we had to drive four hours to pick it up. But on my way home, as I was driving with my grandma all of the sudden (2 hours into the drive) this weird thing on my car starting blinking and saying “tire pressure is low” and then it started to COUNTDOWN! COUNTDOWNS ARE NEVER GOOD! So… within 10 seconds, I had a completely flat tire. First day in the car: First flat tire. Those two equate right? Not cool. No.
Well, I was… let’s just say SUPER discouraged, and unfortunate as it is, I get really annoyed by everything when I’m upset and I just don’t like people and really anything else. So, as I was being super rude, and this was after my super excited ‘YAH I GOT A CAR’ mood, so it was like DRASTIC difference, I started to just back talk and be super negative and essentially just be a Danie Downer. I was talking to my dad’s fiance when she told me that it was the devil who did this. And I was like… oh sure whatever. But then I thought about it, and realized she is probably right. I started to then think about all of the reasons why I was upset and why this had made me so angry. I mean, it was just a stupid flat tire…that was fixed and I was getting a new one in the morning. But then I realized that I was just so down because I felt like I couldn’t have a day that was decent anymore. I felt like one thing had to go wrong in my life everyday. Lies and deceit, just saying. However, I thought that and then thought about how I was feeling about twenty minutes ago. I couldn’t have been more excited. I was so thankful. I was praising God and then all of the sudden something bad happened and I’m upset and rude. Clearly the devil was at work.
It took someone else, to help me realize that I was being attacked. On something so easy, but I let him take me down. It was terrible to think that I let the devil have my emotions and I felt terrible about it. Then I proceeded to think about how often this has been happening lately. I’ve let the devil get the best of me, and the best of my emotions. After I realized that though, I realized just how weak I’ve been. I stopped trusting God in my emotions somewhere down the road. I’ve stopped praising Him and being thankful for what good things have happened in my life, and I stopped seeking Him when the bad stuff happened. What I want to know, is what went wrong in my head? I’ve let the devil really bring me down these last couple of weeks and I need to get back up. If I have this responsibility to live love out loud this summer, I can’t live like this. I have to trust God, instead of falling to satan’s lies. I have to believe that God can handle anything, instead of letting the devil tell me nothing is going to work out. I have to realize that God is on my side, and that He wants me to realize how much I have and how much He loves me. It’s amazing how much God is trying to teach me, just with one little instrument. My emotions play such a huge part in my life, it’s funny that I’m just now realizing that the devil is trying to find a way to get to me, and the easiest way is clearly the most impactful.
Today I learned that I can’t give my emotions to anyone but the Lord. He needs to have complete control over my life, and that includes my emotions. That sounds funny, I know, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about. I’ve let my emotions get the best of me lately, ask anyone of my friends. But that can’t happen anymore. God needs them, to make me whole again. I’m breaking and it’s because of my emotions. I need to figure out how God is trying to build me up, instead of letting the devil have an opportunity to pull me down. I need to learn how to fight with God and how to ignore satan’s attempt to hurt my relationship with him. My emotions are huge and they are the best way to my heart, which is why satan is trying so hard. But they belong to God…I just need to learn what that means.