1. I’m super scatterbrained.
2. I only have 16 days left here in Florida.
Now if you would have asked me about a month ago ‘when do I go back to school?’ I would have been saying “I ONLY HAVE 16 MORE DAYS UNTIL I GET TO GO BACK TO INDIANA AND LEAVE THIS TERRIBLE STATE!!”. But you know, God has changed my views of this summer so much lately, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I leave and have to go back to school.
To be honest, this summer has been the hardest but I don’t think I could consider it the worst summer I’ve had anymore. I’ve learned so much and it’s been things I’ve not really been wanting to learn these past couple years. But God finally got to me. It’s taken me a long time to realize how much I need to be alone and how I can only go to him when I am hurting. I was listening to a song today that just greatly described what love is. The only way that I can show God my love towards him, is if I give him all of me. Including my hurts and my heart. He knows how terrible they both are, but He also knows why and who I am.
It amazes me to think that God knows me. He knows my past. He knows my future. He knows me more than I know me. But the greatest thing is that even though He knows me, He still loves me. One of the things I’ve been working on this summer is comprehending the concept of love. It is clearly something that I will not ever fully understand but having the opportunity to look at it has really opened my eyes to how great our God is. Love is such a big concept and I guess when people say the phrase “God is love” they aren’t kidding. That is exactly what He is. And I think in knowing that, we can know that we will never know what love really is. God is to complex for us, and so that means that love is to complex for us. But when contemplating that, we must think if love is to much and if God is to much…what does that make God’s Love. It’s like DOUBLE CRAZY! But that also means… it is double wonderful. God loves us all. He loves His children. He loves those who come to Him. That is us! Can you believe it? LOVE! He loves us. Regardless of our thoughts, actions, desires, wishes, failures, successes, dreams, ideas, looks, jobs, everything. God loves us, just the way we are…because He made us that way.
For some reason I really love it when people relate God to being the master painter and we are the canvas. He is making beautiful pieces of art on us, and He loves it so much. He doesn’t throw any part of us away. He doesn’t get rid of us because He thinks it’s ugly. He doesn’t start over because He isn’t pleased. He uses us. The way He made us. How awesome is that? Just imagine God painting you, and then realizing that because He made this painting a certain way He will hang it in a certain gallery. That is what He is doing with us right now. God loves the picture of you, so He is going to put it in a gallery that makes sense. Whether that be putting you in a place of art, music, academics, words, actions, communication God has you there for a reason. God has made us all so different from one another, and I think this is something that I forget a lot. I think I try to compare myself to others daily and that does nothing but hurt me. I think to myself all the time, why can’t I be like that person, or that person and then I am reminded that I am different because God made me that way. But in knowing that, I’ve thought about what gallery God is putting me in today. It’s hard to know, as I’m only 20 where God is going to put me but for some reason I’m starting to see a preview of the place I’m going to be put on display. And although it’s not where I once thought I wanted to go, and it’s not somewhere that I see any of my friends going. I know it’s what I’ve been called to and it’s what God has painted me for. For the gallery of life.
God really is just so complex. I’m not quite sure what to even say beyond that. He is just so much that this blog is just making my own mind blow as I just think of Him and how much He cares for His children. He loves us so much that He paints everyday and creates new people everyday because He is so excited about what we’ve become and what they will become. He knows where we will all go even before He paints us, and He doesn’t want to stop painting. God won’t give up on the world. And that is love. A painted Love.
Sorry about this being so scatterbrained. I think sometimes I just get overwhelmed with how much God is showing me at once I just throw it onto here and try to form something like a paragraph… it doesn’t work that well. So yeah, painted love. Sit on that one for a while.