When you get to be a senior, life gets a little terrifying. You have to think about your future a lot and where you’ll be after graduation. I am mostly excited about starting a new life, but still sad because I will probably be away from most of my friends and all of my family members that I’ve grown up with. It’s hard to think that when I leave for this last semester of school I’m not actually planning on coming back. I’m not thinking that coming back to Florida and working here is an option. I love everyone here, but I don’t think it’s where I’m suppose to be anymore. Terrifying.
I think today as I bought my plane ticket home (SUPER LATE, do not advise that one) and started packing up my stuff that I started to realize that this might be it for a while. I know that I already don’t go home as much as my friends do now from college. Just because I live so far away. But realizing that I might not live with my family ever again and I might not see them on a daily basis for a long time…it’s a scary thought. It’s hard to imagine not seeing my niece and my nephew grow up. It’s hard not to see my family grow and to slowly see how God is working in their lives, even when I’m not home.
I know that home can be hard sometimes, but home is still home. I love my family and that will never change. Going to school was scary and possibly living in Michigan or Indiana or Illinois when I’m done with school is even more terrifying. What if I don’t come home for a long time. How will that affect the relationships I have with people here. Some of my best friends I’ve ever had are here and I don’t want to lose them.
Being an adult is hard. It’s definitely an adventure. But one that starts off as a bumpy ride I’m learning. I know that God has His hand on the situation, but I can only ask and seek his strength to be okay with it all.